THE POWER OF failure
THE POWER OF failure Five million people have listened to Elizabeth Day’s podcast How To Fail. What makes it such a hit – and what can we all learn from it? F ailure isn’t what it used to be. The term used to be a devastating insult, but in recent years it’s been rehabilitated as we’ve all been encouraged to ‘fail fast’ or ‘fail forward’. From personal misfortunes splashed unashamedly across social media, to startup-and-crash Silicon Valley entrepreneurialism, failure has never been so much in the zeitgeist. And Elizabeth Day is right at the heart of that discussion. “I am aware of the irony, that the work I’ve made about failure has been the most successful thing I’ve ever done,” Day, a long-time friend, tells me. “But to find that being honest about my vulnerabilities and weaknesses and encouraging others to do the same resonated with people has been a gift.” I’ve always thought of Day as one of the most successful people I know – she’s published three novels and interviewed some of the world’s most famous people, from former SAS member and novelist Andy McNab to innovative actor and scriptwriter Phoebe Waller-Bridge, on her podcast, How To Fail. She asks prescient questions, elegantly unearthing her guests’ emotional truths and the lessons they’ve learned. But Day’s outward success masked her personal struggles. “I think women, especially, are often encouraged to put on a front to face the world,” she confesses. “We live in this world of curated perfection where we are only as good as our last Instagram post. Of course, we know that’s not the whole truth but it’s very hard to live with these standards we set.” An Oxford graduate who was used to high achieving, Day’s own struggle with failure led to the creation of the podcast in 2018. “When I tried and failed to have children in my thirties, with two unsuccessful rounds of IVF and then a miscarriage at three months, it was the first time I hadn’t achieved something I set my mind to,” she says. She and her husband divorced soon after. Having fallen in love with another man, however, she was then unexpectedly dumped by him. “It was three weeks before my 39th birthday,” she recollects. “It was really brutal and out of the blue.” The experience sent her into a dark period where she sought to reassess her life. She’s fully aware that her narrative might seem tame compared to the life tragedies some experience but, as she explains: “Failure is an extremely personal thing. We all have unique expectations of ourselves and the life we should be leading.” At the heart of Day’s perspective is the insight that failing at things teaches far more about ourselves than success ever can. “I’m not saying, ‘You must fail in this particular way and you must fail well,’” she says. “It is completely appropriate if you are going through something really hard in your life to take time to grieve that and come to terms with it. In no way do I fetishise failure. All I’m saying is that it is something that happens to all of us and I personally choose to believe that a failure can be seen as a nudge from the universe in a Story Lotte Jeffs Illustration Joël Penkman 53